pillow talk
Pillow Talk is our blog where we provide answers to your most erotic, intimate, vulnerable, and sexy questions. We respond with sex-positive, pleasure-centered, medically accurate sex education to help you navigate some of your most pressing concerns. Join us in the conversation by submitting your questions here.
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reclaiming what it means to be a sexual Black woman.
Q: Personally I find it hard to think about me being sexual and a black woman because there are sooo many bad stereotypes that I don’t know how to get past, like in porn it’s much easier for me to watch porn with white people than black people because I think of what the world thinks of us. It’s hard because we are all seen as ghetto as black people so when I hear other black people talk like that I get turned off sometimes. I just don’t want it to be a black thing if that makes sense at all.
what you should know about fingering
Q: It seems like I often experience vaginal irritation and sometimes bacterial vaginosis when fingering occurs during sex. Can fingering cause BV and what is the likelihood of STD transmission?
what you need to know about lube
Q: So often I feel like I need to use lube but I feel embarrassed. I feel like I’m too young to have to use lube but I’m also working on challenging that because I’ve seen a lot of posts mention how beneficial it is…
sexual pleasure anatomy 101
Q: I’m embarrassed to admit this but I’m in my mid-30s and I just learned about the clitoris…
sex gets better with age
Q: I’ve been single for three years since my marriage of 17 years ended in divorce. I have been hesitant to date and having sex brings up a lot of emotions, mostly anxious…
sex, relationships, and chronic pain
Q: I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis two years ago, right when I was starting to get deeper into learning about reclaiming my sexuality and pleasure….
how to masturbate in front of your partner
Q: My partner loves watching me masturbate but I often get shy and then feel like I'm taking too long and then can't orgasm…
preparing for your first threesome
Q: I am interested in exploring same sex interactions with my partner who is 100% supportive but keep finding myself holding back…
ways to fully embrace your sexual kinks
Q: My partner and I are very sex-positive people who enjoy orgies and swinging. I've been feeling some anxiety about doing it more often because I'm afraid that it's becoming more of a lifestyle than a hobby…
what to do when your partner isn’t giving you oral sex
Q: I love getting oral and giving it, but my partner doesn’t like giving oral but he sure does enjoy receiving it…
tips for enjoying solo & partnered pleasure
Q: What are the ways that I can “turn off my mind” (anxiety, shame, dysphoria) and learn to enjoy myself solo and with a partner?
why don’t I enjoy sex?
Q: Embarrassed to admit that I'm a woman who struggles with sex. I don't necessarily enjoy penetration, I actually struggle with it…
how to find porn for Black women
Q: My question is, do you know of any ethical porn that features Black women, specifically full-figured Black women?
how to feel sexy and get out of your head
Q: I am so self-conscious anytime I try to be sexy in front of a partner and feel uncomfortable/awkward…
5 tips for being on top
Q: I haven’t had sex in so long that I do not feel as if I'm flexible enough to do it. Could you give any stretching tips and just general tips on how to ride?
does anal sex feel good?
Q: Hi! I've never tried anal sex. I just want to know if the anus is an erogenous zone for women?
quick on the draw: dealing with pre-ejaculation
Q: For the past year on and off, I have been quick on the draw intimately with my wife and was wondering what can I do to change that?
vaginismus & ways to deal with painful sex
Q: It seems that I again hold racial trauma in my vulva which causes my vagina to be tense and cause painful penetration…
orgasms, cumming, squirting - oh my!
Q: I was just wondering if you guys have any tips on achieving a female orgasm and 'cumming'…
i'm a virgin who wants to explore my sexuality
Q: I'm a virgin and somedays I feel embarrassed about it. I get discouraged because I feel that no one wants to date a virgin…
love notes FROM our community
"The workshop was PHENOMENAL and an absolute pleasure and joy to share safe space with other Black women. I felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable and share my truths; I left the workshop feeling replenished and grateful.”
Danielle Gilmore, Black 32, queer, exploring polyam
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